Under the Rain I Cried Under the Covers You Listened
by Bejerwin
Summary: We're here now, but I don't always feel like I am. That's why he pulls me back. After a day like this, and him listening to me like that, I remember all the reasons why I love him. And all it took to get here. (Same universe as Now We're Here)


**Notes: I really truly am trying to write for other fandoms and ships, but I just can't help it sometimes :/ I even have an Italy brothers one-shot that I have been slowly working on and a Jeankasa one-shot and ugggh… I have a prequel thingy for the Drummer Boy of Shinganshina that will make sense with the latest chapter(?). Please forgive me… It's funny because the first time I started writing this it actually started pouring out of nowhere and most of the days I did decide to work on this it was raining out of nowhere and the weather was just straight up bipolar.**

 **One last note on this, this fic actually got a bit out of hand, you'll see what I mean, maybe, idk, I hope it doesn't take away from it too much… I actually like this a lot but IDK anymoreokayimgonnastoptalkingnow wheee~BTW I got the inspiration for this from this** **post** **on the imagineerejean blog on Tumblr.**

 **(Speaking of blogs follow my personal blog at nomnomfever :D)**

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 _Pitter patter_ fell the rain. It fell in clusters of heavy drops, unevenly hitting the earth. I could feel when the rain drops got larger and heavier. Sometimes while I walked the rain would lighten up a bit but pick up again when I had expected it to stop all together.

The world around me looked bleak as I walked on past the many stores and people. Almost everyone had some sort of cover, an umbrella, a plastic hood that barely covered their forehead. But it was something. While I had a thin, soaked sweatshirt; I was sure my second layer of clothes was already soaked.

I walked on down the streets, not a single patch of sidewalk was puddle-less. Every step was squishy and spongy, I had finally gotten used to the fact I probably had forever wrinkled toes. I just pushed on through the worsening weather and grumbled under the summer storm cloud that materialized out of nowhere.

On another note, today was fucking shitty. I don't know why I didn't start with that. Today was hell and now that it was raining in the middle of a heatwave, nothing was going right. Sure I guess rain would be nice when it was hot as hell, and I did love rain, but I just didn't want to deal with any of it. I was dressed in fucking shorts and a tank top, I only found a balled up sweatshirt in my locker right before I left work when I had found out it was pouring. It smelled like Cheetos but it was better than nothing and sure enough the rain washed the smell away, now I just smelled like wet couch. The rain itself wasn't that cold as my body had gotten used to it but the wind that came up from the coast just sent shivers at every breeze. The heat was no longer a problem.

I grumbled curses under my breath as I shuffled home under the storm clouds, arms glued to my abdomen as I tried to keep myself even remotely warm. Extreme weather changes always made me sick, I could feel the snot running down my lip even if my face was drenched with rain. Work sucked today too now that I thought about it. The scene replayed over and over in my brain, that bitch. If it wasn't one thing, it was the other, if I wasn't smiling enough it was being prejudice. No one decided to show up for their shift so I was getting the butt of everything just because I was _late_ but hey I showed up.

The rain kept falling as I kept throwing a hissy fit. It was louder than my own thoughts which only increased my levels of frustration. I couldn't even remember why I was so angry anymore, I was just pissed at everyone. The lady flipping the open-close sign over her shop's door before leaving to grab her stuff? _Damn her._ The kid laughing from one of the balconies above because of the wet cat? _Screw him._ The guy throwing his jacket over his girlfriend, _or wait was that actually a guy? Well whatever, fuck them too… And their slightly better shelter..._

The water was rising higher to just above the tread of my shoes, allowing even more water to soak into my soaks and skin. I was sure that my blood in my feet had been replaced with water by now.

I hiccupped. _Dammit, not now…!_ I had bit my lower lip hard and cut the blood flow to my lip in half. I was not going to let myself cry in such a miserable state, and in public for that matter. Sure the rain would cover it up well but my eyes will be the indicator to anyone, my eyes would always get as red as roses when I cried. So I let myself cry, might as well get it over with and hope I look somewhat decent by the time I get home. I was sure that it would hurt to keep biting but it would also hurt to let go as the blood would begin to flow again. After a moment and another hiccup, I let go of my lip reluctantly, probably bleeding but the rain washed it away before I was even sure of it.

I sighed in between sobs, _how pathetic,_ I would think as I kept my steady pace. I wiped at my face trying to clear my vision so I didn't run into anything but it was futile. The rain always seemed to catch on my eyelashes and the tears didn't help at all. My body felt like collapsing so on the street so I could just cry and get up when the rain stopped. But that wasn't really an option.

Turning onto a different street, the water wasn't as bad and less of it flowed down the sidewalk. I could feel with each sob and hiccup the anger slowly dissipate* from my system and leave just emptiness and a hint of self-loathing. _Just another three blocks…_

The rain seemed to disappear altogether when I had turned that corner past the Starbucks. I had been hit by the wave of hiccups and sobs that I always hit when I was crying uncontrollably. I felt stupid, looked stupid… _Damn._

My feet stopped moving on their own and I dared not turn around. Without having to I knew why the rain had stopped pelting my face, why the rain continued to fall heavily everywhere else, even my feet. Eyes of green and hazel flashed up and I saw that the skies were no longer clouds upon clouds of a summer storm. No. It was just a canopy of green like a forest, but no leaves.

"This is why I tell you to always check the weather, numbskull." The rain was like white noise compared to his voice. "Let's go back home, shower, eat…" his voice faded into the rain as he walked the short distance to my side, keeping the unreasonably sized umbrella in the middle of the both of us.

I nodded and we both started walking again, linking arms after a slight hesitation on my part (his hand occupied by the umbrella handle). It still felt odd to not just shove him out from under the umbrella and just ditch him, probably would have done something like that a few months ago, eleven to be exact. I had to walk really close to him to stay completely under the umbrella; pretty sure he planned this situation in the first place too. But I said nothing and just put my free arm up to my face, muffling all my sobs to the best of my ability with my wet sleeve. My eyes stayed on the sidewalk rather than in front of me, trusting this horse to guide me well. Our feet were both drenched but at least we could see now that the rain was out of our face.

The walk felt shorter than it actually was. Before I knew it I was shaking off as much rain as I could in the apartment lobby of sorts. Walked into the elevator and went up to the sixth floor and walked down to the last set of four doors on the floor and unlocked the door to the apartment on the left.

"You go shower, I'll make you something to eat, I can tell you're catching a cold." There was a pause. "Man, to think of how long we've been together, days like this just remind you of it."

"Eleven months right?" I murmured behind my sleeve, still standing by the doorway as I closed it behind me, remembering to lock it this time around unlike all the other times.

"What?" Jean asked confused.

"N-Nevermind," I stuttered from the cold. "Jean," I called to him. The male was in the middle of placing the umbrella out on the balcony to dry when he turned around to look at me. His eyebrows were raised, his expression basically blank otherwise. "Nevermind." Jean just held his stare a moment longer before returning to what he was doing.

I slipped away into his bedroom, really ours since I rarely slept in my own room, and went straight into the bathroom. I didn't feel the need to lock the door so I just shut it with my foot. I peeled off the clothes and wrung them out in the sink before I threw them into the hamper. The bathroom was a pretty good size; the dimensions were odd but otherwise fit the needs of any other bathroom.

The shower was taking forever to get to a desired temperature, not scalding, but definitely hot enough to expel all the chills in my body. I took my time washing my hair, even stealing Jean's special conditioner. I spent even more time washing my body, massaging my muscles as I applied soap, relishing in the steamy shower. After shutting off the water I stepped out of the tub and let myself drip onto the bathroom rug for a moment. I started to dry myself from head to toe and then wrapped up my lower half with the same towel I took one of the smaller towels and just left it to hang on my shoulders for later.

As soon as I stepped out of the bathroom I could feel the temperature difference and it gave me goosebumps. I started to lazily dry my hair with one hand and the towel. I could smell food wafting from the kitchen, not sure what kind of food, but it was definitely food of the delicious kind. I quickly grabbed some underwear from my clean laundry basket of clothes I had left in the hallway. I had forgotten to fold them as always and pulled out Jean's clothes, the ones I had stolen some time ago, shouting to him that I was stealing his clothes. He grumbled noisily but made no other complaint than that. I hung up the towel I previously had wrapped around my waist back in the bathroom and started for the kitchen, this time drying my hair with more effort than when I had left the bathroom.

"You took forever to finish showering, Jaeger," Jean commented as soon as he was sure I was in the room. "Let's eat in front of the TV today."

 _We always eat in front of the TV_ I wanted to say but ended up just helping Jean with transferring the food from one place to the next. The bowls were hot in my hand and I thought I would drop one of them but I managed somehow. I placed them on the coffee table and looked over at the horse-face, wondering if there was anything else. The look in his eyes said for me to sit on the couch and wait, get comfortable, he'll deal with the rest.

I plucked the remote from Jean's spot on the couch and made myself comfy in the corner part where I always sat. The TV took a second to come to life, followed by the audio. It was on the Travel Channel and I quickly changed it as I didn't feel like waiting for the commercial to finish to find out what the show was. I decided any cartoon was best suited since I felt so childish and pathetic anyway.

Jean returned with two cans of soda, a Dr. Pepper and a Sprite, he motioned with his chin for me to choose. I grabbed the Dr. Pepper, opened it, listened to it fizz and then placed it down on the table. Jean brought a spoon up to my face, the contents that of a soup his mom always made him I was sure because it was nothing like the cans they had in the pantry.

"How long does it take to make this?" I asked rather than taking the spoon in my mouth. Jean ignored the question and tried to coax me once more. "Jean, I can feed myself."

"Ahhh, Eren, ah," Jean persisted.

"You're fucking kidding right?" His expression said no. I closed my eyes as I sighed and opened my mouth wide for Jean. The spoon was warm to the touch when it entered my mouth. The soup was even warmer, I was sort of glad I stalled for so long or I might have just burned the inside of my mouth. I didn't hesitate to swallow after getting to taste it with every taste bud on my tongue, it was so good. "Wow." Jean smiled uncharacteristically soft and went back for another spoonful and blew gently on it before placing it before my mouth again. "Jean… Really, you're being weird," I chuckled meekly. He obviously was not going to let up so I played along a while longer.

Sometime between spoonfuls Jean had leaned over and grabbed the blanket he had left the other night, draping it over both of our bodies the best he could. He was silent throughout the entire time he spoon-fed me. It was odd watching him. His eyes were similar to that of a person watching their loved one die in the hospital.

By the time I had finished Jean finally started eating his own food, seeming to relax on the couch even just a little. I had curled up next to him, sipping at random times from my soda, my fingers became numb due to the icy cold can. My head rested on his arm, moving along with it as he consumed his soup and before long he was done as well. He placed the bowl on the coffee table and got back into a comfortable position next to my body, wrapping one arm around me. He was naturally just a tad colder to the touch and we both knew that he was much colder than usual.

"What happened today?" Jean finally asked.

"What do you mean?"

"You were crying, plain as day," the volume of his voice grew but it was still at a talking level. He paused before he asked again. "What happened, Eren?"

 _What did happen?_ "Nothing, just angry at myself for not listening to you this morning…"

"That's hardly a reason to cry and since when have you ever cried for me being right?" I shrugged at him with blank expression. This was the last straw for Jean. He sat up on the couch, causing me to sit up too. He turned and faced me with the most serious look on his face.

"Since when do you care…?" I dared to ask.

"Since when do I care? Eren, I've done nothing but care about you for the last year at least and you ask me **now** why do I _care?_ " Jean licked his lips and I licked mine. We stared silently, the rain still pounding outside the TV turning into nothing but background fuzz. "I can see that something is wrong, I'm not stupid no matter how many times you tell me that I am. Was it something at work?" I shook my head after scraping my lower lip on my teeth slowly. My eyes had dropped down to my hands which were fumbling with the edge of the blanket. "Tell me about it."

His eyes burned into my skin I could feel it, watching every muscle in my face twitch under the pressure. Jean's fingers were limply lying in his lap as he readjusted on the couch to give me his undivided attention.

The flesh on my face started to burn, my eyebrows furrowed as I gulped. "I was harassed at work today." Jean's face visibly darkened and creased with both anger and worry but he said nothing. "And I just you know tried to _not_ beat them within an inch of their life. I got chewed out for showing up late and I ended up being the only one who showed up for my shift at all today. I had to cater to more tables than I should have had to and it was just a stressful day and the boss has been hounding the shit out of us and then when I finally got out of work I found out it was pouring and I got as cold as fuck…" I continued to ramble on about my day as Jean started to rub meaningful circles with his thumb over the tops of my hands. "I don't even know I was just so fucking pissed and I just hated everything and I just got more and more frustrated as the rain got harder and I couldn't think anymore… I felt so pathetic and I felt so stupid and childish and…"

Jean pulled my body against his gently, pressing a kiss to my hot forehead. I was taken by surprise for only a moment before I buried my face into the flesh where his neck met the rest of his body. His skin was smooth and familiar to me even the arms that began to circle around my torso. He rubbed my back soothingly and planted a couple of kisses rivaling that of any angel along my face and in my hair before rested his head on mine.

My arms ended up over his and I decided to grip at whatever I could and that ended up being his sleeves, pulling the fabric off of his shoulder and exposing his collarbones to the rest of the world. I shook in his arms, sobbing with no actual tears flowing. He cooed words of absolute sugar and heavenly kindness that I would normally hate coming from his mouth. I would have punched him in any other situation I would have just assumed he was mocking me.

"I'll fucking rip their heads for that, they don't matter okay? What matters is you and that you are so much better in every single way than your shithead coworkers and your asshat boss and even that bitch that harassed you. **No one** harasses you, Eren. Anyone who does is fucking stupid as fuck." Well, sugar and kindness of his own making, more unique than any other person's words of comfort.

And I wouldn't have it any other way.

"We're here now because we became better than people like that. I can hold you in my arms like this because we fought for this. We'll just have to grin and bear it, make enough to move somewhere better, finish school and pay off the loans so we can get better jobs and a better place…"

"Yeah, yeah okay…" I finally managed to say although it was nothing more than a whisper.

"We'll both get our dream jobs, live with no regrets, get some cat or dog or a fucking turtle I don't know but we'll get there, we always get to where we want to be."

I listened to Jean's uncharacteristically detailed plans for our future together and just nodded along silently. We had gotten so much farther than I ever thought we would, living together in the city, going to school and working…

"And if you want…" Jean's sudden burst of optimism and happiness faded and I moved my head to get a better look of his face. He was as red as the very blood running through his veins and obviously sheepish about the next few words he was about to say. My heart started to beat faster in anticipation. "When we do finally move even further away we could move somewhere where we can… get married…" He blinked and looked down at my face embarrassed and scared. "How does that sound?"

I wasn't prepared for this at all. I could only stare with my jaw hanging loosely and my eyes so wide my pupils were but specks in an ocean of white. I stopped breathing but I hadn't even noticed it yet as I ran the words Jean had just said over and over in my head. _Marriage? Him? Me? Married? He would marry me? Is this a proposal?_

"Eren?" Jean looked genuinely scared and a bit hurt it seemed.

"Fuck Jean, I don't even care if we get our dream jobs or move somewhere great I'd marry you even if it wasn't legal," I threw my arms around him, cutting off the last bit of my sentence with a kiss. He seemed to have been relieved by those words and tightened his hold on me and intensified the kiss. I backed off to suck in some air as I had barely any when we started and he just continued to nip at my lower lip before going back in for a more fulfilling kiss. He slipped his tongue into my mouth and we massaged each other like that for a while, both totally lost to each other.

Jean pulled away first and smiled at me with the universe in his eyes. I'm pretty sure the Lit major in him was writing some cheesy yet beautiful things about this moment. And I just smiled back with flushed cheeks.

"What are you thinking about?"

"I can see our past in the moon that sets over the water," Jean said while rubbing one thumb under my right eye. "And I see our future in the sun that shines in your eyes," he said rubbing his other thumb under my left eye.

I laughed both flattered and at Jean's poor attempt at making the moment even more dramatic than it already was.

There was a click and everything went dark, the lights flickering out. The power went out and we sat in darkness. The only light left was the dim stream from just outside the windows; the street lights were still on. We both laughed at this and Jean let go of my face. Everything that I had been frustrated about before had melted away along with the stress weighing me down.

I recomposed myself first and I grabbed Jean's face in my warm hands, causing him to stop laughing.

"Do you know what I am thinking?" I asked suddenly serious.

"What are you thinking?"

"I am thinking about how I can see in your eyes, everything. What you see in my eyes, the past in my ocean colored eye, and the future in my golden colored eye, is nothing like what I see in yours. Our Past, our future, our present... Our everything. In your eyes I can see a universe unparalleled to anything the scientists have ever even imagined."

Jean had to pause to think about what I had just said suddenly at a loss for words. "Fuck Eren, I told you you're better at this writing stuff than I am."

"But computers speak to me on a level surpassing that of any old book."

"Case in point, but still…" Jean grumbled. I gave him a look in the darkness he seems to sense and just said, "Alright alright… But do you know what else I am thinking?"

"What now?"

"How I am going to officially propose to you with a ring. Just be prepared for whatever this uncreative idiot of yours concocts alright?"

I laid my head down on Jean's chest again and just let the silence answer for me. Jean fixed the blanket over us and we both shut our eyes and listened to the rain falling outside. It began to lighten up before I had been taken away by sleep.

By the morning it was sunny again and we both took off work. I took off because I ended up with a fever and a cold and Jean took off to take care of me.

Also because I passed on my cold to him during the night.

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 **Oh my gosh hey! I wrote a kissing thing for the second time ever in my life! (it still sucks and wow look at that its for another Jeaneren fic…) So what I meant by this got too far was the whole proposing part and I accidentally ended up making Eren have heterochromia and yeah all that stuff but I really liked it and I now can't think of any other way to have ended this xD Leave comments and suggestions as always please! It means so much. I really want to know what people think of this because it so far I have only posted Jeanerenjeanerenerejeanerejean and what not for SNK… ha… Oh and of course if you see errors cause I know there are a ton in here please tell me, I didn't get my handy dandy human to check beforehand.**


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